Well Tillerman, at Proper Course is at it again. Another writing project for all of us. So here goes.

The “worst sailing innovation ever” to me is any device which uses a suction cup to hold it in place, like a cup holder for instance. What kind of fiend comes up with these kinds of devices. Sick, that’s all I can say. I don’t know how many times I have dumped beverages all over, either on the cockpit or on the floor down below. I can just picture, said fiendish inventor, laughing manically, rubbing his hands together in gleeful mirth at the very thought of all the gleaming cockpit floors he as single handedly ruined. Bastard!

I’ve seen it happen 1000 times. You’re sitting there, relaxing, face warm from the sun. A nice cool pain killer nearby. All your worries have melted into the cool, icy beverage as you reflect on the day’s sail. Then just out of the corner of your eye, you notice the stupid little suction cup has started to loose it’s suck. It’s lost some vacuum, it’s starting to pop just a little bit more and just before you can get your hand to your beverage…

Every time, I swear the holders are going straight in the garbage can as soon as we get to shore, but of course that doesn’t happen either, because by the time we reach shore one of my other traits kicks in, which is to say, being a tight ass. This prevents me from following through on my vow and since the offending mess has long since been cleaned up, I figure it was a fluke. Then, the next time out, thunk, down goes the glass of red wine, all over our nice, clean and very white, cockpit floor! Ugh! I hate those holders!

Apprehensively Yours.

Capt. Puffy Pants